it wasn't lemon gatorade
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
