If i come over, it means nothing
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
