Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
