Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
