I should be sponsored by Trojan
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
