I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
