So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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