sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize