I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
