that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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