I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize