We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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