its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize
