One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
