Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Randomize
