After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
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