I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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