Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
