..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Randomize
