We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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