goodnight i made you a song goodbye
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
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