I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
