We need to start having sex underwater more often.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
