i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
BRING THE BAGELS
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Randomize
