so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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