sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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