dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
