It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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