I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
