I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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