Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
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