If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
zippers are such a cool invention
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Randomize
