i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Randomize
