I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
