'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Randomize
