oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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