talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
