Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
