Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
