Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
how can u be prego again
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
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