Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
