The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
