Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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