Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
