Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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