I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
