She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Randomize
