she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
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He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
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There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I lost the right to judge tonight
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
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