so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
