Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Found your dick twin last night
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
