You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize