That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
