the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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