fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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