nutella sex= disaster
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
