no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
