I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
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HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
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It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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